I am going to a Christmas party this weekend. We’ll be doing a “pirate” gift exchange. If you’ve never participated in something like that before, it’s where everyone brings a wrapped gift and puts it underneath the tree. One person will select a gift and unwrap it. The next person may select another unwrapped gift or they may steal the gift from the first person, and so on. The best gifts usually get stolen several times as you work your way around the group. And there are also, usually, some “dud” gifts mixed in. I went to an exchange once where someone threw Bump-its into the mix even though all of the guests were men. It’s very random. Last year I came home from an exchange with a garden gnome, which I wanted and had to steal back after it was stolen from me several times.

The gift I am bringing this year is an old, beat up dumpster book. I created a new dust jacket for it out of some nice paper I had at the house. It’s nice, sort of decorative if you’re into that thing. Oh. Still not good enough? Well, I also filled it with booze.